When is the last time you did something just for fun?
For me, it was this past Thursday.
Every Thursday for the last three months, I have driven to a tiny studio in Burbank and played -- just for the sake of it.
I have played a wealthy aristocrat, a fortune-telling medium, a no-nonsense social worker, the boss's daughter, the subject of a foot fetish, an aggrieved mother, a boisterous mother, a sexy scientist, a famous painter, and an Italian shopkeeper.
That's right, friends, I took an acting class!
My First Acting Class
While working through "The Artist's Way," I realized I would always regret it if I left Los Angeles without taking an acting class.
I showed up one Thursday night to audit a class at the Brian Cutler Actors studio, and the illustrious Brian Cutler himself gave me the chance to do a "cold read."
I was nervous as hell, but I fell in love with the adrenaline of it all, the emotion of it all -- the way it feels to perform.
Everyone in the room was so kind and supportive, as well, and I had so much fun.
That night, I went home and wrote with a surprising freedom.
Acting totally changed the way I think about words, and it has taken so much pressure off of the task of writing.
After all, words don't matter quite as much as what we do with them, and more importantly, the way they make us feel.
Gone are the days of agonizing over a word or sentence. Now, as long as the feeling comes through, I can move forward, which has been a tremendous benefit to both the quantity and quality of my writing.
More than an Acting Studio
At the Brian Cutler Actors Studio, every talented individual who shows up comes together to form a family.
There was never a lack of kindness in the room, and everyone there wanted everyone else to succeed.
We celebrated wins together, and we laughed off our losses.
In between scenes, we spent time getting to know each other. Students from all over the world and every phase of life came together to play and share the unique qualities only they had to offer.
The results were magical.
Without exaggerating, the kindest, most hardworking people in Los Angeles can be found at the Brian Cutler Actors Studio. They aren't bad-looking, either.
I saw so much talent, and the energies, personalities, and performances I got to experience will stay with me forever, including Brian's. He is such a sweet man, and the level of care he has for each student is second to none.
Who knows? Maybe some of my new family members will appear in my writing. At the very least, their special qualities --and the stories they told -- definitely will.
Above all, I feel so lucky to have this wonderful creative community in my life. Even though I am taking a hiatus from the studio, I still feel like I have a family.
The Confidence that Comes from Performing
On the first day of class, Brian promises to help you feel comfortable with yourself. Every week, we work on stillness -- and the ability to show ourselves "warts and all."
In other words, we learn how to forget that other people are watching and be vulnerable; to let our inner selves shine and become comfortable with our own bodies.
Before acting class, I hated the sound of my own voice. Now, I happily record voice memos, and I am ready and willing to lend whatever part of myself a project needs.
Getting up in front of my peers, week after week, did wonders for my confidence. I feel so much better about myself, so much braver, and much more beautiful.
There's nothing like sharing yourself and hearing laughter or applause from the audience. Brian's praise, as well as the kind compliments from other students, helped me build myself up.
Even with room for improvement, I feel like I have a lot to offer -- and like I am on the right path.
The confidence boost I got from acting helped me be brave and audacious.
I truly believe all the time I took to play in a supportive environment improved my work, helped me accomplish my goals, and led me to new opportunities.
Investing in Myself
One of the biggest battles I had with myself was paying to play. It was hard for me to justify paying for acting class amidst the financial challenges of working as a full-time freelancer.
Nevertheless, I am so happy I invested in myself, and I can't think of a single dollar better spent.
Additionally, I felt extremely supported by "the universe," or whatever you want to call it, because every month I would worry about the cost, and every month, money would come along.
Seriously, one month I was considering quitting or putting acting on pause because of the cost, and then I got an unexpected car insurance refund. Another month, I was having the same inner dilemma, and I received a COVID relief payment from the state of California.
It was truly unreal, and it helped me believe in that special magic available to all who follow their dreams.
With Gratitude
Before signing off, I just want to say thank you to Mr. Brian Cutler, Jill Morehouse, Khigh Abner, John Keating, and every other member of the Brian Cutler Acting Studio.
I also want to thank my brilliant, beautiful scene partners: Abner, Khigh, Jill, Alyssa, Ryan, LT, Gang, Christian, Valeria, Daniel, Roselyn, Charlie, Anthony, and Andrew -- it was such a pleasure working with all of you (and watching you, too)!
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